An Indian-origin tech professional working in US has shared an emotional account of being unable to see his dying mother, saying visa delays left him trapped in a choice. He calls this the “biggest regret of my life.
”Gautam Dey works in US on an H-1B visa and described on LinkedIn how his mother passed away from stage 4 lung cancer while he was still trying to secure a visa stamping appointment to travel to India.He wrorte: “Today I am writing this not as an engineer, not as an H-1B worker… I am writing this as a son.”According to the American Bazaaar, he said his mother was hospitalised for 17 days and he tried repeated attempts to secure travel approval during that period.“My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was hospitalized for 17 days. During that time, I was desperately trying to get a visa stamping appointment so I could travel to see her,” he wrote.Dey moved to US in 2007 after being recruited by a multinational company for specialised software work. He said he had spent years working under the visa system, paying taxes and building technology products.“I did not come here to undercut anyone’s salary. I was brought in for my expertise, to solve a serious software problem and fix vulnerabilities that needed attention,” he said.
But when his mother’s condition worsened, he said administrative delays made travel nearly impossible. He explained that leaving the US without a visa appointment risked serious consequences, including losing his job and legal status.“If I traveled without an appointment, I could be stuck outside the US for months. I could lose my job, my legal status, and my family’s status,” he said.He described trying repeatedly to secure an emergency appointment.“I sent hospital documents to the Consulate. I tried for 26 days to get an appointment. I refreshed, waited, prayed, and hoped. But time did not wait,” he wrote.A painful decisionDey said he was forced into a painful decision between being with his mother or protecting his family’s future in US.“So I was forced into an impossible choice: Be with my dying mother. Or protect the future of my children. No human being should ever be placed in that position,” he wrote.He was ultimately unable to reach India in time. His mother died before he could travel.“I could only see her through a phone screen. I could only hear her voice over the phone. That will remain the biggest regret of my life,” he said.In his post, Dey said that he was not blaming any country or system, but showcasing the emotional toll of immigration processes.“This is not a political post. This is not about blaming a country.
This is about a human cost that is rarely spoken about,” he wrote.He added, “But a dream should not become a cage at the moment your family needs you the most.”He also offered advice to younger professionals considering working abroad.“To every young professional dreaming of an H-1B life: please think carefully. India is changing… You do not have to measure success only by leaving home,” he wrote.His post concluded: “Because no career dream should ever put you in a position where you must choose between your mother’s final moments and your children’s future. I lost that choice. And I will carry that pain forever.”
