“It’s a job that I will take to my grave. That is something I am proud of that I have done”
“It’s a job that I will take to my grave. That is something I am proud of that I have done”
“It’s a job that I will take to my grave. That is something I am proud of that I have done.”
Pam Morgan’s life was very different when three of her sons were going into the Navy 21 years ago. A mum of six children, she said: “I was driving behind a bus and on the back it said “Do you have a spare room? Can you foster?” I noted the number and rang it later and asked for some details.”
Within two weeks she had children under her care at her home in Wallasey and Pam has now been a Wirral foster carer since looking after 52 children with the longest living with her for nine years. Wirral Council is currently trying to promote its foster care service in an effort to help keep its children’s services budget under control.
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This is because foster placements like Pam’s cost far less than putting children into a residential home which now cost on average around £5,000 a week but some placements can cost far, far more. The council had hoped to place 460 children in foster care each month but the latest figures for August show it was 420.
Across the country, foster care placements have decreased and the council has increased foster pay in the hopes this will boost recruitment. However the council’s children’s services are expected to go over budget by around £10m this year with £7m linked to residential placements.
Pam believes her background and upbringing was what led her to fostering where her mum was an alcoholic and her dad was violent, adding: “It made me understand and want to help children in the same situation. I went in thinking I probably know a bit more about it than most.”
She said: “My own life has had its ups and downs and was dysfunctional and that made me more interested in making a better life for children because I know what it can be like when things aren’t so great.”
Looking back, Pam said she is proud of what she has done telling the ECHO: “It’s not an easy job, I will put it that way. To try and engage people with fostering, I would have to pick the right sort of people.
“We are so few and far between but it’s a job that you really need to know what you are going into. It’s highly emotional. It’s full of grief.”
She said it could be tough hearing some children’ s stories and sometimes when people leave, it can feel like carers don’t get a second thought, adding: “You think ‘did our time mean nothing?’ You know it does because of the children who have left who do come back. You know that what you did had some impact on their lives.”
This could be a Christmas card thanking her or sometimes coming back for Christmas dinner. However for anyone considering going into fostering, her advice was speak to other foster carers to understand what it’s like.
She said: “Always find someone who can talk you through it. Often you find out the issue isn’t as bad as you think it is,” adding: “The main thing is don’t take things personally.
“If you are easily offended, try to challenge yourself on that. These children will try to push you away because they want to know how determined you are.”
Pam said it had been difficult at times, including threats made against her family she said left her family horrified at the time but now, she said: “You have to live through those challenges to know you got through it.”
She said: “They come into care kicking and screaming. They come into care so angry but when they get into adulthood, they reflect on what we have prevented.”
Pam said foster carers often meet for socials she called “moan-ins” and Wirral Council has also launched a Mockingbird program grouping foster families together so this becomes an extended family for the children. Children’s committee chair Cllr Stephen Bennett said this will empower “families to support each other and overcome problems before they escalate.”
However Pam thinks some things could improve. She said some authorities could sometimes treat the children as naughty and a lack of consistency with social workers moving onto other positions also meant some instability for the children.
She said it took a long time for children to get to know and trust somebody, adding: “All they need is time, a little bit of guidance, and somebody to listen to them. Pay gaps between council foster carers and those employed through an agency was also raised as an issue though Pam said: “If you do this job for the money, you are doing it for the wrong reasons.”
She said: “It’s a lifetime job. You can’t just leave it. You are dealing with human people and this is a lifetime commitment. If you didn’t love it, you couldn’t do it. You have got to be committed.
“You have got to treat them like your own children. These children want to be included. They always feel like an outsider in a stranger’s house.”
She said: “It’s a job that I will take to my grave. That is something I am proud of that I have done,” adding: “There’s success stories out there and people need to find out how much satisfaction you can get from this job. Just to make one person’s life completely different
“I am glad I have got this job. I am quite surprised we are still here doing it. We are both retired. It makes you feel like you are a useful part of society. Our children are proud that have done this. They tell people. When you get a card on birthdays or at Christmas, it’s always got a lovely note saying how grateful they are for what you have done.”
