President Donald Trump’s administration just started a war that it has no hope of winning, according to coffee drinkers. And it has nothing to do with the Middle East. The Boston Globe reported Wednesday that Health and Human Services Secretary Robert Kennedy Jr. fired verbal shots at Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks. An Army veteran explained to those outside of New England that Dunkin’ Donuts is to the northeast what In-N-Out is to California. Dunkin’ loyalists, in particular, rushed to social media with hostility after they felt shots were fired by HHS. “We’re going to ask Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks, ‘Show us the safety data that show that it’s OK for a teenage girl to drink an iced coffee with 115 grams of sugar in it,’” Kennedy said. “I don’t think they’re gonna be able to do it.””This moron has no idea how much of a third rail this is. If he goes through with a public fight with Dunkin’ he will never live this down. In the words of my people “f—— ya motha,'” Ben Collins, CEO of The Onion, wrote on BlueSky. “Wicked idiotic,” Wayne State University Law Professor Jen Taub agreed. “I knew they’d go after the next Bluest city after they left Minneapolis… I didn’t think they’d go like this, watch out they’ll come for your chowder by nightfall,” said radio commentator Dara Moskowitz Grumdahl. “If Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee is dangerous, I’m f—— Evel Knievel,” quipped author Rob Delaney. “Them’s fighting words, especially in Massachusetts,” one social media user wrote under the Globe’s post on Facebook.”I love the handful of people responding to this to say that Dunks is bad coffee. I don’t think they understand that New Englanders’ affection for Dunks is only incidentally related to the quality of their products,” commented tech and crypto reporter Molly White. She later added, “Is it bad coffee? Yes. Do I love it? also yes.””As a New Englander, I can say: Dunkin’s default is to pour in way too much sugar, probably to mask the awful taste of their coffee,” said American Progress senior fellow Topher Spiro. Physician, Dr. Ashish K. Jha, appeared to chastise or question him with one word. “Dude.”One woman couldn’t help but key in on a specific element of Kennedy’s comments. “Why is RFK Jr. focusing on the sugar intake of teenage girls over everyone else. Is that his id speaking? He never, ever fails to be a creeper.”
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