A couple from Liverpool have described their grief and profound pain after the loss of their beloved son, but also have a message of hope and resilience
A couple from Liverpool have described their grief and profound pain after the loss of their beloved son, but also have a message of hope and resilience
A heartbroken dad should be celebrating his son’s 18th birthday today. Instead, he will spend it grieving an unimaginable loss, and navigating his way through the emotional and psychological pain which once threatened to overwhelm him.
David Colleran is the proud dad of four boys, one of whom was Bobby Colleran. The six-year-old tragically died after he was hit by a van on Leyfield Road, West Derby on October 24 2014, while walking home from school.
His dad spoke to the ECHO ahead of what would have been another important landmark in his son’s life. David was working at the time of the incident, and rushed to Alder Hey to be at Bobby’s side, but sadly, his son had already died.
David said: “It something you can never really describe, because the worst thing that can happen, has suddenly happened. I went to some dark places after Bobby died, and if it it wasn’t for Joanne and the children, I’m not sure whether I could ever have gotten out of that situation, because it pulls you in deeper and deeper.
“After about six months, it was obvious things were getting on top of me, so I talked with Joanne and agreed to see a therapist. That changed everything.
“As a man of a certain generation, you’re brought up to just get on with things, but the grief was eating me from the inside out. I told myself I had to open up and do it for Joanne and the kids, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
“The grief never goes away, it never lessens or subsides, it remains just as powerful as ever, but thanks to therapy, and supporting each other, we’re able to find a way to manage that pain now, which helps us remember the joy Bobby gave to us all, and try to live a positive life.”
David and wife Joanne Colleran, both try and bring joy to their family life in whatever way they can, and are so proud of their other three boys. They both credit therapy for helping Bobby’s brothers navigate their way through the trauma of such a devastating loss, and said they have each matured into amazing young men, open-hearted and comfortable talking through their emotions.
Joanne told the ECHO: “We talk and laugh and remember Bobby every single day, because he was just so funny, and a proper cheeky, loving little boy. I could go on about him forever because he gave us all so much joy and happiness.
“On week’s like this, whether it’s the anniversary of his death, Christmases, family events, and especially his birthday, I do find myself wondering what he would be doing now if he was still with us, and what he would go onto do, what job he’d have, who he would be married to, and him having his own children.
“That’s hard to think about and also hard to not think about, because it is both comforting and upsetting, if that makes sense.”
The story of Bobby Colleran and his family is not just one of tragedy and pain, it is also one of love, hope and resilience. After Bobby’s death, Joanne founded the Bobby Colleran Trust and has worked tirelessly to bring essential road safety awareness campaigns to the attention of Merseyside.
As a result, campaigns like ‘Slow Down For Bobby’ have helped save the lives of countless children. Joanne previously told us: “I wanted to do something for Bobby to help him help other people and families and prevent more heartbreak.”
Joanne and David’s personal experience, and advocacy for the importance of therapy, is reflected back into the Bobby Colleran Trust, as the charity launched its own bereavement support service.
The provision is targeted at children and young people who have experienced loss, and provides a safe, welcoming space for them to open up and share their feelings.
The service is the only one of its kind in Liverpool, and has seen huge demand. It works with children to better understand loss and grief, and also to develop coping strategies to manage anxieties, fears and sadness. The Trust has already helped so many people and continues to take referrals from organisations across Merseyside.
Joanne added: “I talk, I cry, I get upset, but I also laugh and smile, and I encourage my kids to do the same, both me and David do that because it’s important.
“Bobby used to hate it when I cried, he hated anyone crying, and would try everything he could to cheer you up and make you laugh. That’s what I hold onto because he had such a beautiful soul.
“What I really appreciate is how open my kids are with their feelings, and how compassionate they are to other people as well as themselves. That’s what we try and achieve with the charity, not only in trying to prevent tragedy and boost road safety, but also provide support should the unthinkable happen.”
Reflecting on Bobby’s legacy and the Trust’s ongoing work, Joanne said: “We’ve done it to honour him and try and spread his love and support to others that need it. This week, leading up to his 18th birthday, we’re all up the wall because we’re organising a party on the Saturday after his birthday.
“Not the party we wanted to put on, not the party he deserved to be at and enjoy becoming a young man, but a party to celebrate his life and how that inspired a charity which continues to try and help people.
“We also want to thank everyone around us, and the whole city for taking Bobby into their hearts and showing us so much love and support.”
On Bobby’s birthday, the charity organise an annual event called ‘Wear Blue for Booby’ to honour his memory of Bobby Colleran, and to raise awareness about road safety and support the Trust’s initiatives.
To find out more details, and how you can support the charity’s campaigns, please visit their website HERE.
