A hard-hitting new film is being released today by domestic abuse charity Refuge to shed light on the hidden threat women face behind closed doors.
Launched as part of the charity’s International Women’s Day campaign, the clip aims to open viewers’ eyes to the devastating fact that the most dangerous place for a woman is her own home.
Titled ‘Home is Where the Hurt is’, it opens as a seemingly picture-perfect house tour. Actor Fizz Waller plays upbeat estate agent ‘Kate’, guiding viewers through a bright three-bedroom family property.
At first glance, it looks like a dream home you see influencers flaunting on Instagram. But subtle warning signs of abuse that often go unseen – like controlling and coercive behaviour – soon emerge.
Refuge ambassador Cherie Blair said: ‘For so many women, abuse happens in the very place that’s meant to feel safest.
‘If this film helps even one woman recognise the signs and seek support, it will have made a difference.’
Introducing the ‘beautiful’ three-bed, Kate tells viewers it is ‘isolated from friends and family’ but ‘full of character and charm’, adding with a smile: ‘You might even stay forever.’
The hallway lighting is ‘great for your partner to analyse your outfit before you go out’ while the state-of the -art kitchen is ‘great for gaslighting’.
Admiring the kitchen, Kate points out the lockable units that provide ‘perfect storage space for your partner to confiscate things that matter to you, like your phone – even your medication.’
At first glance, it appears to be the kind of polished property-influencer content you might see on Instagram (Picture: Refuge)
But subtle warning signs quickly emerge (Picture: Refuge)
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With the help of our partners at Women’s Aid, This Is Not Right aims to shine a light on the sheer scale of this national emergency.
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The film gets darker as the methods of coercive control, tech-facilitated abuse and physical violence become clearer as the tour moves into the trashed front room – chillingly described as ‘the heart of the home’.
A thermostat not only lets you control the temperature of the house ‘but anyone trapped in it’, while the triple-glazed windows don’t just keep the outside sound from coming in.
The tour ends upstairs where Kate shows off the bath, saying it’s ‘perfect for a long soak – or being held under by the back of your head’.
One in four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime – a fact only a quarter of UK adults are aware of, according to data commissioned by Refuge last year.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control describes an intentional pattern of behaviour by an abuser that is used to harm, punish or frighten their victim.
It can include threats, humiliation, manipulation, degradation and intimidation and generally monitoring or controlling the victim’s day-to-day life.
Coercive control may also involve ‘gaslighting’, which is using mind games to make the victim doubt their sanity, and often leads to the abused person becoming isolated and dependent on their abuser.
The form of abuse became a criminal offence just over a decade ago and can be punishable by up to five years in jail.
There were nearly 50,000 recorded offences of coercive control in England and Wales in the year to March 2025.
Separate data for the year ending December 2024 shows that nearly all those convicted of the offence were men – 853 of 1,299 offenders.
What are some of the signs?
Being isolated from friends and family
Does your partner/abuser monitor your time?
Being constantly put down, told you are worthless
Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you
Have you been forced to engage in criminal activity?
Does your partner/abuser have control over your finances or limit the amount of money you have access to?
Making threats or intimidating you
This list is not exhaustive – help on spotting the signs of coercive control and where you can seek further help can be found here on Refuge’s website.
More than seven times as many women are killed by a current or former partner than by a stranger.
In the year to March 2025, there were 75 intimate partner killings in the UK.
Esther*, who feared she would drown when her ex-husband attacked her in the bath while she was pregnant, said the final scene is ‘particularly harrowing’.
But she added: ‘These are the realities women are living with right now.
‘I hope the film reaches those who need it most and helps them realise they are not alone and that support is available.’
Refuge: Home is Where The Hurt is
In England and Wales, one in four women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, and 75 women were killed by a current or former partner or family member in the year ending March 2025.
Refuge’s International Women’s Day campaign, Home is Where the Hurt Is, exposes a devastating truth: the most dangerous place for a woman is her own home.
Watch the charity’s campaign film here to learn more.
Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline is available on 0808 2000 247 for free, confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you or someone close to you has felt unsafe at home because of a current or former partner or family member, you can also contact Refuge here.
Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at [email protected].
For more stories like this, check our news page.
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