Our daughter saw my belly grow and she was waiting for these little babies
Our daughter saw my belly grow and she was waiting for these little babies
Parents have spoken of the heartbreak of losing their two babies 24 months apart. Joanne, 41, and John Paul Mercer (JP), 44, from Wallasey, couldn’t have been more excited to tell daughter Niamh she would be a big sister, but the family’s dreams fell apart after their 12-week pregnancy scan.
The scan revealed their unborn baby, Ella Mercer, had Edwards’ syndrome, also known as trisomy 18, which is a genetic condition caused by an extra copy of chromosome 18, leading to severe health problems and often a shortened lifespan. The condition affects babies when they’re in the womb and sadly most babies die before or soon after they are born.
Ella was born on St Patrick’s Day (March 17) in 2020 and sadly died the next day in hospital. The family recalled how losing Ella was the “most painful” experience they had ever been through.
Devastatingly, just two years later, in February 2022, the family endured the same horrific pain when their third daughter, Libby Mercer, sadly died from an unknown cause.
Mum, Joanne, said: “We went for our 20-week scan the week before Christmas and were told things didn’t look right,” explains Joanne. “It was very surreal. To think that something like that was happening again was hard to comprehend.
“With Libby, we never found out what it was. We just know it wasn’t any of the things that her sister had. Every hospital appointment was emotionally draining, hearing our little one would pass away and was in discomfort.”
The couple turned to children’s hospice Claire House for vital support throughout the heart-break of losing their children. They spent time in the hospice’s Butterfly Suite, a space where families spend their last days and hours with children who have passed away.
Speaking about the loss of Ella, Joanne said: “Claire House was there for us every step – from the scan to every hospital appointment and all the way through my pregnancy.
“Claire House kept our family safe during a really vulnerable time. And they were there for a second time when things didn’t go right with Libby.”
Their daughter Niamh, now nine, also received support during that time. Joanne added: “It was so important because Niamh was four when we had Ella and six when we had Libby. She’d seen my tummy grow, and she was waiting for these little babies to arrive, so we were grieving together as a family.
“Staying in the Butterfly Suite wasn’t sad for Niamh, it was cosy and comfortable. Sharon and Jenni from the Butterfly Team were so brilliant and skilled, knowing when we needed support or some space. They were so respectful and thoughtful – doing things like moving the room around to make it personal to Libby because it was around the same time of year we lost Ella.”
Without the ongoing support, Joanne and JP say they may never have tried for another child after their losses, but they have since welcomed their fourth daughter, Freya, who was born in November 2023.
JP said: “We cherish the memory making with Ella and Libby and all the amazing things the team helped us with after the girls passed away.
“I feel lucky we had Claire House when we needed them. I will always remember having a bed there when I felt I couldn’t leave Ella or being snuggled up and reading with Niamh in the Butterfly Suite, knowing we were together as a family. We’ve got treasured memories because of Claire House.”
Joanne said: “Despite everything going on when we lost Ella, Claire House made Mother’s Day special for Niamh even though we were grieving. We had a lovely roast dinner, and the staff made Niamh feel special, which is so important to siblings.”
JP added: “We don’t feel it’s a place where we brought our babies after they passed away. For us, it’s a very special place with special people that look after us. Everybody cares”.
To continue to honour their babies, the family attend Memory Day and take part in events organised by and in aid of the hospice, such as the Claire Bear 3K and the Lantern Walk. JP says: “It’s an opportunity to do something special as a family, while raising money for Claire House we get to keep our girls in our memories.”
Click here for more information on Claire House.